My history teacher lives down the street from me, and he’s like a 31 year old trapped in a 5 year old’s body, but he’s a buddy of mine …

… and he just rang my doorbell, and ran away to his house as fast a he could.

My 31 year old history teacher just rang my doorbell and ran away to his house, on a saturday.


(Source: ptrcpldi, via alaskas-fault-was-in-her-stars)

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My mom talked in her sleep a lot when I was in high school. I could usually hold an entire conversation with her while she was sleeping.

Once I heard her mumble, “I know everything.”

I told her she didn’t know algebra, and she assured me she did.

So I asked, “What’s a polynomial?”

And with the authority of a thousand professors, she stated, “It’s when there’s no toy in your Happy Meal.”

(via alaskas-fault-was-in-her-stars)

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im gonna see the world